Saturday, March 31, 2012

From THE AGE - November 26, 1989 LORD, Now it's a wedding

Lord, now its a wedding

Honestly Spy, he just had a call from Lord Alexander Montagu, the honorable Viscount Mandiville, Melbourne's limo-propelled son of the realm: “I'm getting married, I want you to print that.”

Lord Al, is that really you? “I am ringing from Nairobi, Kenya, to deny those things you wrote about me last weekend, that I was ringing 'A Current Affair' from a 40-foot limo in Melbourne. It's all bullshit. None of my cars are 40 foot, they are 42 foot or 36 foot, and none has got a spa.”

Sorry Al, But what's this about a marriage? I'm engaged to a lovely young lady named Shannette Millar. She's Australian. It's her 20th birthday and she hasn't paid me a cent.”

Are you talking about those stories last year that you, as future Duke of Manchester, offered to sell the title of Duchess for $30 million? “I never said that, but I was offered $50 million by a guy named Maxim. I said no.

So when is the wedding? “We will be coming back to Australia before Christmas and we will be getting married in Sydney in January. Shannette will be Viscountess Mandiville and we'll live in Delaware. We'll be asking the media to the wedding.”

Thanks Al, how are you supporting yourself these days? “Oh, I've got businesses going here, there and everywhere. The limo business in Los Angeles. All honest businesses.”

This is an extraordinarily clear line from Kenya, Alex, you wouldn't be pulling my leg, would you? “I'm calling from Kenya. We're staying at the Nairobi Club.”

Will I pass on regards to your dear old Melbourne mum, Mary? “I can't stand the bimbo. I haven't got on with her since day one. My father's as big a whacker as she is. I don't get along with any of them.”

Spy assumes the wedding table will be a little light on for Montagus

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